New Zealand’s Takahē Union (NZTU) has pitched a bold plan to stimulate the economy after the coronavirus pandemic. NZTU has called for free cruise vouchers to be handed out to non-flying birds in a bid to kickstart the economy. Critics point out the plan is costly and will only benefit certain lazy birds.

According to the plan, each bird -if choosing not to fly- will receive a $1200 voucher which can be spent on cruise travel during the year of 2021. Estimated costs of over 63.2 billion New Zealand Dollars would be paid for by a special one-time corona tax levied by the IANFB from its member organisations.

‘Too long, non-flyers have been ridiculed’, says Manaia Applebaum (Chairbird of the NZTU). ‘Only now, because of the crisis, birds realise we can do without fleeting experiences, such as flying to Bali, polluting our planet along the way. It is time for change. Authenticity. True connection. Free cruises.’

‘Why don’t they just swim?’ reacts Ricardo Chinstrap González, a known critic of the Takahē Union. ‘Seriously, each time we’re already up to our ears in debt, these grass-waddlers launch some preposterous plan.’ Adding: ‘Have you looked into this Applebaum? I think her sister owns a cruise company.’

The next IANFB General Assembly will be taking place mid-July. It is yet unknown if the free cruise travel proposal will be considered.