Brussels, August 31rd, 2020
Regarding: Systemic Non-Flying Bird Discrimination
Dear Mr Morrison,
As you’re probably aware, we at the IANFB have great admiration for the nation of Australia. It is a free, prosperous and mostly democratic bird-friendly country. On the most recent edition of the Bird Development Index (BDI) Australia ranked a respectable third place worldwide, only behind Mauritius and, of course, land of the Kiwi; New Zealand.
It is not the time, however, to sit back and relax with a smug look on your beaks. Australia, like so many other countries in this world, is suffering from systematic non-flying bird discrimination. The banning from a local pub of Kevin and Carol, two rather friendly emus who wander the town of Yaraka in Queensland, is just the most recent example.
Is it the actual exclusion of these emus or the absolutely disgusting reasons given for it that makes me most upset? These wonderful birds, they wouldn’t hurt a fly, are accused of ‘smelling’ and ‘stealing toast’ – code words, of course, for the lack of acceptance of birds that are different. When have flying birds ever been banned from public or private premises in your country? Why does Birdlife Australia, the nation’s largest birding organisation, feature twelve flying birds on its homepage and only one non-flying bird, a token penguin?
Apologies are not enough, mister Morrison. Emus have wandered the plains of Australia for about 80 million years. They take the spoils of the land (toast) as they please. They create stains however and wherever they want. And they do not, in any circumstance, smell.
Ideally, we from the IANFB, would offer you our Non-Flying Bird Awareness Action Program. Unfortunately, as we’re currently based in Brussels, Europe, it would take us quite some time to get there. Therefore it is advisable to invite us for your coming local events. We will start by educating the embassy personnel, who will take their knowledge with them to Australia.
With the highest regards,
Dr. A.J. Tučniak
Secretary-General
International Alliance for Non-Flying Birds
PS Regarding the events: We recommend to serve tuna, lots of tuna.
